So this month I went through everything. medical school, on-call residency,and in two weeks shadowed seven out of the infinite areas in medicine. So, after the experiences I have had, the things I have seen, heard, and been witnessed to: is medical school for me still worth the long and at times stressful road that I will have to go through in order to get there?
In the end: Yes.
I would love to say this is a duh question and that I'm more excited now than ever to pursue medicine, and in some sense I am. However, I believe by saying that I would be taking lightly the incredible experience that I had this month. This experience has changed me and made more knowledgeable of what I am asking for. I realized that right now as a college pre-med junior, medical school seems like everything to me. I mean, it's what I've had my heart set on since day 1 of college ( if you don't believe me ask Ken Kirkpatrick). But I now see medical school as the beginning, the start of something wonderful, hard, exhausting,beautiful and at times physically and mentally overwhelming that at the end will turn this MD wannabe into a real MD with all of the knowledge, skills, fancy white coat and stethoscope intact.
This experience for me helped me deal with one question I (and I think others) have in their minds but never wants to discuss is: what if they (medical schools) don't accept me, then what?
I have wanted to be a doctor so long. The plan has always been: get into college--> graduate from college with my degree--> go straight into medical school--> go straight into a residency program--> become a practicing physician. Somewhere in the plan I would get married to a handsome man and have our 2.5 children living in a huge wonderful house balancing being a wife, mother, and doctor flawlessly while maintaining my good looks. Sorry I'm rampling but you get the point. However now that I am so close to reaching my goals that I have to think: What if my plans don't go as planned, then what?Would I try again? Would I give up and look for another career? If I try again how long would I try before I decide to stop? That's what I wanted to figure out through this experience. I realized that goals and plans can be changed, replaced, and even dropped but dreams never die, they can only be deferred and being a doctor for me is my dream. I have enjoyed every day of this program and it has only made me long to be a part of it as a real medical student, a real resident, a real doctor.
As a soon-to-be-college senior, after I take my MCAT and submit my application to the various schools that I am interested in, it's all out of my hands. I can't do anymore to get myself into medical school. All of the extracurricular activities, grades, classes, schools, the personal essay, recommendation letters, test scores everything is then in their hands. I can try to "be smart" and pick medical schools that I think will easily accept me into their school, but after talking to students at IUSM, no one can ever be sure. It's just to hope and pray that at the end of the day, whatever happens it's all for the best.
I do hope and pray for the best and hope that my plans do go as planned. That in Fall 2012 I join other medical students in my start in medical school and the rest of my life. But if not, this experience has shown me that I won't give up on it, I can't give up, I will keep trying until my dream becomes a reality.
I do hope and pray for the best and hope that my plans do go as planned. That in Fall 2012 I join other medical students in my start in medical school and the rest of my life. But if not, this experience has shown me that I won't give up on it, I can't give up, I will keep trying until my dream becomes a reality.
